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Senators go down fighting against league leaders

02 March 2013, 13:30, Banbury Road North (Near)

Senators 3 - 8 Surbiton Jokers

First of all an apology to all of you who have been eagerly awaiting further reports from the Senators over recent weeks. The truth is that a team stuffed with grey haired, middle aged men can hardly be expected to fully comprehend the intricacies required to write, submit and publish these literary highlights in today's IT dominated world. Obviously, last week's report, the first one not initially written by quilt pen, was lost in the ether when your correspondent forgot to save it in time. No doubt a future dig of car parks in the South Oxfordshire area will find the relevant remains of this report and I have instructed my descendants to publish forthwith when that moment arises.

This week, unfortunately, there is much less to report, apart from a debut performance from Alain Michaelis, who was signed up for this gig only late on Friday when captain Hutts finally succumbed to desperate pleading from his lodger. Such was his assured presence that he was immediately signed up with a lucrative contract, so we hope to be able to lend him to the 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's and 6's in time for the end of the season.

Notable absentees this week included H, who has improving his knowledge of Russian with a field trip to Moskou and Sochi, so we hope to be able to report an accurate translation into Russian of the well known phrase: 'watch out where you make those turns you stupid English .....'. His travel-blog can be read on www.norwegianwoodchoppingontour.co.uk

On the pitch we were second best for 60 minutes, managed to fall behind 2-0 in the first 5, draw level immediately afterwards when we had control for a brief spell, but faded badly afterwards. Marky Mark's 2nd goal of his hattrick surely the purists choice for best goal of the match. Steve 'Bionic' Jones once again defied logic by playing on when being hit just below the knee by a rising drilled short corner. It wasn't just the fact the circumference of his right leg doubled in the event (admittedly from a thinly disguised chicken leg size to start with), or that his skin turned various colour last seen on an Andy Warhol painting in the National Gallery, but his stoic application of an ice-pack for well over 2 hours after the event earned him his new nickname.

Now where's that fountain pen I got for Christmas '67

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