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Fareham sent packing by the 2's

22 January 2022, 12:00, Banbury Road North (Near)

Men's 2s 6 - 1 Fareham Men's 2s

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Another home win - this time against Fareham 2's turned out to be rather more straightforward than the boys had anticipated. 6-1 this game finished and even that scoreline was disappointing as the side failed to score in the last 20 minutes of a very one sided contest. In truth the day's events were notable more for concerns about the coach who continues to display some rather odd behaviour - he never disappoints.

Take the Saturday just gone and you'll see why I'm beginning to fret. Following a brief but unusually lucid pre match talk from Dunners we all trooped out to take on Fareham's second string who were looking a little threadbare having trekked up the A34 with a bare XI and no coach or manager. For once I'm not being gratuitously offensive here as enquiry at the bar, post game, disclosed our visitors were indeed short of both quality and numbers, several  of their regulars being unable to make the trip to Oxford.

Dunners has recently taken to wearing one of those vast puffy coats (bright blue in colour) much favoured by England's rugby players who strut around, showing off on the touchline, while waiting to be subbed on by Eddie Jones. However readers of this report may recognise that, physically, there is a significant differential between the coach of Oxford Hawks 2's  and ,say, Ellis Genge or Luke Cowan Dickie. The rugby boys are able to carry off this unwieldy garment in some style without appearing overwhelmed, Dunners less so. .....................I assume it must have been free stash.

Cometh the opening exchanges of the match the 2's took early control and by half time were 4-1 up with strikes from Lewis and Grouty following terrific team moves of some quality and a couple of irresistible short corners from the prolific Dan Andrews. By the interval it seemed pretty clear that the points were only going in one direction. 

The second half was, to be truthful, a bit of a let down. Dan stuck 2 more shorties away and it looked like a goal fest was on the cards but the boys failed to cash in at all in the last 20 minutes which was a disappointment. To be fair to Fareham (note the alliteration there) the visitors, who must have been pretty downcast, stuck at it and ran until they dropped which did them great credit. However Hawks need to acquire a Peaky Blinders mindset when the opposition are on their knees. That's the second week running that the team has decided collectively to coast home when there are more goals to be had.

Of further note is more strange behaviour to report from the coach midway through the game. On the touchline we had engaged in a debate as to how Lewis seems always to retain possession when, by common consent, he is one of the slowest men on the park - which I'm sure won't come as any surprise to him. " Well it's his kinesthesis(!!)".says Dunners.  I kid you not. Why does he need to show off by using words I don't begin to understand?

"What on earth does that mean I enquired.?"

It was so totally out of character and Dunners was obviously enormously pleased with himself as evidenced by immediately indulging  in a good few seconds of self satisfaction apparent from his "very pleased" face. Those of you who have spent most of their Saturday afternoons with him lately will know the expression to which I refer. There then followed an enormously erudite explanation of what Kinesthesis is, which was so comprehensive it had very obviously been carefully prepared during the previous week to be deployed on Saturday afternoon whenever he could manage to construct an opportunity. Quite extraordinary.

Just as well we all love him!

And Lewis passed his exams.

Another decent week.

Thanks to Evelyn Hargraves for the excellent photos.

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