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Dunners invents a new plan and the 2's reap a rich reward

07 March 2020, 14:30, Reading HC

Men's 2s 5 - 1 Reading Men's 3s

Oh dear! Wednesday arrives and I haven't yet penned a match report - yet another indicator of the stresses of a long and demanding season.

Reading 3's away looked like a reasonably comfortable assignment especially with the strong side we were able to field although quite why availability has improved so dramatically - especially in the second half of the season - is totally mystifying. It's a trick we should try to repeat next season.

Surprisingly, at Reading, Dunners pitched up with his mega sized white board for the second week running. I omitted to mention last week that he had risked universal derision when unloading it into the changing room for his customary incisive briefing before the Witney game. It soon became clear that he had given considerable thought to his physical limitations (short legs, even shorter arms) as he took great care in balancing the extravagant teaching aid on a chair. By dint of standing alongside it he was able to make adequate allowance for his deficiencies. This gave him sufficient freedom of movement that he could reach all areas of the board with a little effort and afforded him adequate access to every one of the magnetic counters displayed.

It has only taken him virtually the entire season to work this out.

At Reading, beaming benignly, he adopted a similar stratagem with the board to unveil what he described as a new plan he had invented for pressing the opposition.

I don't know if either of my readers ever watch "Take Me Out" on ITV compered by Paddy McGuinness . In it a motley selection of assorted women/ladies/females (I don't know which word is acceptable these days and in matters of this sort I find one has to be so careful) are required to give the once over to a hopeful young and usually too pleased with himself by half potential suitor. For his part the HYAUTPWHBHPS then expounds, and sometimes physically demonstrates, (I kid you not), his claimed attributes and as it becomes increasingly clear that he is actually an arrogant jumped up loser the women/ladies/females rapidly turn off the lights on their individual podia (NOT podiums as some Brookes students might think as it is from the Latin podium) to indicate they have absolutely no interest in being shacked up on a tropical island with him for 24 hours, which is the prize they are vying for. (Apologies for the length of that last sentence and ending it with a preposition). Anyway that's what I'm told because, as you would expect, I've never watched it myself.

I refer to "Take me Out" because no sooner did Dunners declare with pride that he had an innovative plan for pressing the opposition than virtually the whole side in the changing room turned off their lights - metaphorically speaking of course - because we didn't actually have any podia or lights as such in the Reading changing room.

Notwithstanding this apparent lack of interest/enthusiasm for Dunners' cunning plan he persevered and it was adopted as an integral part of the overall game strategy. I should also explain that its main objective was to create 1 on 1's with the goalkeeper and thus a plethora (NOT plethorum) of goals.

In introducing this novel way of playing I can only think our coach was desperate to garner some personal credit for the 2's dramatic improvement over the last few weeks which, regular readers will need no reminding, can be traced back to the Reading 2's game when he was actually absent and the side was run by Henry and myself. 

Be that as it may,I cannot deny the new style of playing had a dramatic and immediate impact as in the first quarter of the match several 1 on 1's with the keeper were actually created (as predicted) but, unexpectedly, all of them in the Hawks circle (not predicted) as Reading 's forwards bore down on an exposed Boggs junior (more of that later) in the Hawks goal.

That apart this turned out to be a very comfortable win with the boys taking the first half 2-1 and romping away in the second with some exceptional play to record a 5-1 win. It could have been many more but for some fine work from the home keeper.

I can only assume that Dunners interval chat may also have had an effect not least his threat to break Boy Band's legs if he persisted in running into defenders - very out of character if I may say so.

And Boggs junior? He declared that as he emerged from showering he had managed to expose himself to a woman /lady/female who happened to be in the corridor. As you do. Entirely accidental I believe.

Marlow next week. Should be a cracker.



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