“WELL AREN’T YOU GOING TO CARD ME THEN”
Oxford Hawks Men’s 3’s 0 - Wallingford Men’s 1’s 3
I sit here writing this report on an Eames Lounge Chair. You have probably seen an Eames Lounge Chair at some point in your life, but you may not have realised how significant of a design it was when you did. The distinctive leather and wood chair, along with its matching ottoman, has been considered an icon and is a staple of mid century executive design. Equally at home in an office or reception room, it’s a timeless classic. The chair is composed of three curved plywood shells covered with veneer: the headrest, the backrest and the seat. The layers are glued together and shaped under heat and pressure. The shells and the seat cushions are essentially of the same shape, and composed of two curved forms interlocking to form a solid mass. The chair back and headrest are identical in proportion, as are the seat and the ottoman. There are many replicas in today’s market, but none come close to the real thing. Anyway, on to the game.
With the arranged meet time of 45 minutes before the game attended to by approximately 28.57 % of the team (might be wrong, but I wasn’t president of the Exeter University Maths Society), a long and intense warmup ensued, something which has somewhat eluded the 3’s in weekends before. This was all following a quick dispatching of spare shoes, socks and god knows what else entailed (i couldn’t bare to watch someone play in plimsolls).
The game started rather placidly, with both sides exchanging amounts of possession. Both defences stood resolute, with strong tackles coming in from either team. Pressure from either side began to mount on each of their oppositions defences, and it was a matter of time before one gave way. Multiple penalty corners were won from the Wallingford in the first half after a string of lethargic tackles coming in from all over the pitch. Luckily, like a midget at a urinal, Boggs was on his toes and held strong to dispel anything that came his way. Half time sounded at 0-0 and Hawks felt they were rightly in the game, with the aim of increasing the pressure on the opposition and the creation of more goal scoring chances needed for the second 35 minutes.
The second half started and Hawks very much fell back on to exploits from the first half. Bad tackles and questionable calls lead to Wallingford’s first penalty corner of the second half, which they duly dispatched. 1-0. Penalty corners continued to exchange between both sides, with Wallingford again capitalising on their chances, making it 2-0. Penalty corners have been somewhat of weak point for hawks this season, again not threatening the goal with the given chances. This is something that will need to be worked on if we are to threaten the opposition thought this league.
Ultimately discipline in the tackle and failure to convert chances were Hawks downfall on this day. Wallingford capitalised on some more ill discipline to win their final penalty corner, which was at first well saved, before a high slap into the roof of the net rounded off the home sides 70 minutes. 3-0.
Wallingford's performance was polished off with an incident in which their defender committed a rather ‘agricultural’ challenge (and that’s putting it graciously) on a Hawks attacked and then looking bemused that the umpire signalled for the inevitable penalty corner. Bedlam ensued from said defender in which he asked the gentleman in yellow if ‘that was a bad tackle?’ to which he nodded. “WELL AREN’T YOU GOING TO CARD ME THEN?” the perp screeched. In one swift motion umps reached behind him into his right hand rear pocket of his noir slacks (ironed with perfect creases running down each leg and fixed perfectly with dark leather belt with single tongue buckle. I forgot to ask him if he owned a Corby Trouser Press as I had to shoot off straight after the game, but I assume he did) and proceeded to show the much underused ‘no look yellow card’- straight from the Mike Dean textbook of officiating I have no doubt.
An away trip to reading next week awaits, with the boys looking to bounce back from a string of disappointing performances and gain some vital points.