I like to read , where possible, match reports on other club websites if Hawks sides are featured although sometimes it can be fairly dull as much of the reportage can be a bit perfunctory. I'm sure you know what I mean - match accounts which contain the detail we scored then they scored so it finished up 1-1 don't really give the reader an insight into the weekend's events. Yes, I know that I'm probably at the other end of the spectrum so that the reader is lucky if the game itself receives a mention at all. It's just my attempt to be a bit more "out there" than the average scribe so that's the way it is. You can take it or leave it.
Dull is not a criticism that can be levelled at Eastcotenet which, you may already have worked out, is the Eastcote Hockey Club weekly newsletter. It always contains a number of match reports - although not as many as Hawks manage to generate each week . However I usually find they are informative , lively and entertaining.
For example in last week's edition of Eastcotenet we learned, in the ladies 4's report, that Sharon had stepped in some fox poo and Ilana got hit on the knuckle by a ball travelling as fast as a Serena Williams serve. For those of you concerned about Ilana's knuckle I'm pleased to report no bones were broken. All good stuff and I wish Eastcote Ladies 4's more equally eventful games through the season but , hopefully, avoiding any further accidents. They won 6-1 which shows you can be both entertaining and successful. You don't necessarily have to be serious to get a result.
Of rather more relevance to this report was the Eastcote Mens 1's account of our game with them a fortnight ago. It described Hawks 2's as one of the top teams in the league. I thought that was very generous and flattering but ultimately a bit unhelpful as it only serves inappropriately to inflate the egos of the squad when over the last five years or so we haven't actually won anything . In fact the only wins we have had have been, firstly, an internal club award last season for being the most sociable side in the club. Secondly I think the lunatic Kiwi Gurden may have won a free osteopath treatment from the, then, club captain in the Christmas Draw. So - not exactly a record of uninterrupted success. In fact the trophy cupboard is bare unless Gurden has left his osteopath voucher in it for all to see.
Of more immediate relevance is this further extract from the Eastcote 1's report :-
"Unfortunately Oxford Hawks had the majority of the ball going into the second half. They were a well-organised team and had a decent player that Chunky had warned us about. We initially took the p**s out of Chunky for this as we had no idea where he was getting this info from, unfortunately he was correct!" (?!?!?!?!)
The exclamation and question marks are mine.
Now I watched that game. and I think I may have worked out who Chunky is. However,for the life of me, I have absolutely no idea who the decent player in our side identified by the said Chunky may have been. Quite honestly I know for an absolute fact that we've never ever had a single decent player in the 2's and certainly not in the present shambolic squad of journeymen players who are privileged to pull on the Magenta and Black every Saturday afternoon.
Which brings me on to our captain Henry Taylor. Henry joined the club last year and played an entire season during which he failed to score a single goal out of 71 notched by the side. Henry is a forward. This season his goalless streak has continued in the first three league games. At 3.p.m. on Saturday it stood at 29 League games or 2030 minutes or, put another way 121,800 seconds without a goal - or, I may say, without looking like scoring.
On Saturday at approximately 4.p.m. an incredible event occurred - Henry Taylor scored.
In the second half he strode up confidently to take a penalty stroke. Composing himself he swept it irresistibly past the keepers right side and it rebounded from the netting behind the goal.You thought that was it didn't you ?.
However within a further 5 minutes he was on hand to finish off some impeccable work by Knoxy and tap the ball into a vacant net.Cue - collective delight and amazement,
Hawks scored twice in each half as well as squandering the stroke so this was a comfortable win against a student side whose season had started a couple of weeks behind the rest of us.They looked as though they were still finding their feet but will probably be a different proposition in the return fixture. Their keeper was sensationally good.
That apart there was probably no other hockey game played in the country where the cumulative IQ count was higher than at BRN on Saturday afternoon.
Finally Kilimanjaro Clive was on hand to record Saturday's events for posterity. We are as ever grateful to him though whether he captured Henry's finest hour you will have to check for yourselves.
Well done Hen.
Further more difficult challenges await.