Men's 2's score a last gasp winner but miss loads more

Saturday and our first home League game of the season against old foes Eastcote presaged an afternoon of unremitting entertainment and incident.

Having just parked up - itself a considerable achievement on a Saturday -  I was suddenly aware of pedestrians scurrying to all corners of the car park in panic. Seconds later a car driven by Dunny screamed into view containing an ashen faced Medium clutching the dashboard in obvious distress. Medium baled out of the vehicle immediately while Dunny, having himself disembarked, announced that in the intervening seconds that he had managed to lose his car keys. After a brief search he located them in the ignition. All very entertaining!!

On reaching the clubhouse most of our opposition from Eastcote were limbering up with a game of ping pong the quality of which suggested that it might not be their first sport. The 2's managed to turn up on time and were collectively and individually in exceptionally buoyant mood.

More extraordinary events were to follow which included three points for the Ladies 1's, as deserved as it was welcome, and hopefully will be a more regular feature of their season than in recent times. As my dentist said when I saw him recently (for the first time in five years) I had at least got into a pattern of regular appointments but perhaps increasing their frequency might be a good idea. Anyway very well done Ladies - it was privilege to witness.

In addition the 2's all managed to pay their match fees before the contest with Eastcote and the vast majority turned out in perfect kit. Progress indeed especially since it took last season's squad until mid March to achieve both those objectives in the same afternoon.

Our club photographer Clive also arrived to record the afternoon's events for posterity and I imagine his always excellent pics will miraculously appear alongside this report.He always looks like he's just climbed Kilimanjaro and this weekend was no exception. And he is always excessively polite and routinely asks if I mind him taking some pictures. Well Clive you may assume I don't - in fact I'm actually dribbling with gratitude. Like contactless card payments and satnav directions I've no idea how the photos appear on the same page as the match report but they always do and presumably someone is responsible for this technological miracle - but I don't know who. However it's one of those features of our brilliant website which sets it apart from most other clubs and for which we should all be very grateful. So to whomsoever does the needful very many thanks.

And finally the woman who manages the kitchen and with whom I share a house had decided to extend her usual culinary offering to include stuffed marrow this weekend. I may have mentioned previously that she's never been the same since her moment with Ed Sheeran and the jacket potato and beans. I did suggest to her very gently that stuffed marrow was possibly a bridge too far, and might be lost on some of her regular clientele but -- as usual - she was not to be persuaded. If her report is to be believed the punters reaction was very positive. More than one said that it had slipped down very well but of course, as I remarked to her, slipping down is what marrow does and I wasn't entirely sure that was necessarily a compliment but rather an observation. However she wasn't having any of it and has been feeling very pleased with herself which is at least good for domestic harmony if nothing else.

As for the game, we won 2-1 with a goal the in last minute when I was about to have a cardiac arrest at the colossal number of straight forward chances we stuck in the fencing or with which we completely failed to make contact. In their defence nobody - and I absolutely lay this at the coach's door - nobody bothered to tell the squad that the goal is the net between the white posts in the middle of each end of the pitch .However I am just not prepared to go again through the torment on the sideline I suffered in the second half on Saturday.In fact I wouldn't have been surprised if the crowd had broken into Men of Harlech so resolute and heroic was the Eastcote rearguard action.

Sadly the visitors just bombed straight off after the match without a word which I thought was a bit poor.

Thanks to Clive Jones for the excellent photos. 

Finally many thanks to my Maidenhead reader (no joke) for supplying the correct answer which is Gaborone - as I'm sure you all knew.

Altogether a pretty good day.