I've gone back to the Beach Boys for my pre match journey into the club of late and it seems to be working tolerably well - certainly better than the trash Dunny comes up with in the changing room. Call me a dinosaur but I certainly find Good Vibrations and Help Me Rhonda a lot more soothing than a relentless diet of Grime and Hip Hop (whoever he is). I could understand Dunny's choice of music better if BRN was in Brixton but it's not is it?
I also find I need to calm down after the week's news because there's so much these days that winds me up - particularly that strange woman with the odd mouth who seems to spend her life in the Houses of Parliament and always has something to say on the BBC. Then there's the odious dwarf who delights in shouting the odds all the time at Mrs May. I actually feel quite sorry for her - I think she could probably do with a bit of a spa break.
There's no denying it's increasingly hard to keep calm on the side of the pitch when the Mens 2's are playing especially because they've developed the habit of going behind at least once during a game.
When we played Amersham (and Chalfont) a few weeks ago I had a game of Pitch Banner adventure with Kit and Little before the match which was very relaxing and put me in a serene frame of mind. I don't know if anyone else plays it. The rules are straightforward. Basically each player has a couple of minutes to construct a fictional story which involves interaction with as many pitch banner sponsors as possible. So it might go something like having a load of beers (Chadlington Brewery) the night before driving off on holiday (Comfy Travel) the following morning, having an accident on the way with a (Lucas Furniture) van, losing a couple of teeth in the collision and having to see a dental consultant (Dr Sunderland) as well as getting (Autoglass) to repair the damage, being prosecuted for Excess Alcohol and being represented in court by (Freeths) Solicitors. I recognise that seeing it written down it doesn't seem quite so entertaining but believe me we really had a laugh. You should try it.
On Saturday the 2's met Oxford (OBU) - anyway that's what I call them because that's how they appear on the League fixtures although there seems to be no mention of OBU on their website. It's always a good tense contest - usually played in excellent spirit for a local derby. This one was no exception
I was particularly on edge because this is probably the fixture of the season. You will not be surprised to learn that the 2's were soon 1-0 down. Boy Band put us back on level terms with a deflection off a shortie but we leaked another just before half time to end the first half 1-2 behind.
Worse was to follow with Oxford (and OBU) scoring again early in the second half. 1-3 and there was no denying the visitors finishing was rather more clinical than the 2's had managed.
I can honestly say that I thought at that stage the boys were gonners and, but for the soothing refrains of Sloop John B and Heroes and Villains to which I ,invariably, turn these days in times of acute stress I would probably have lost it totally.
But then two things of note occurred. Firstly Oxford OBU, being 2 ahead, seemed to decide to close the contest out with 25 minutes left and started to slow down the game - although I'm not suggesting they did anything wrong because they didn't. Secondly our fine young boys, heroically, then scored three times in very short order to turn the contest on its head. Step forward Mally and Boy Band!!
Me? - I had an out of body experience which featured the aforementioned speaker appearing on the side of the pitch and announcing in his affectedly stentorian tones - "Hawks 4 Oxford 3 The Hawks have it. The Hawks have it."