You might think that being manager of the mens 2's is undemanding and a lot of fun. Nothing could be further from the truth. Getting a side on the pitch is about as challenging as it can possibly be. By way of example I offer you Messrs Windsor Lewis and Dunleavy.
Charged with the onerous challenge of providing details of their respective availability on Saturdays through the month the former managed to notify the Mens 1's manager and keeper of the availability calendar that he would be unable to play against Oxford Uni 2's last week. It turned out he had a ticket for the Wales v England 6 Nations game which was actually being played on a completely different weekend.
This sort of error is by no means unusual as evidenced by the latter's performance this week when he declared himself unable to turn out against Eastcote as he would be away skiing. Understandably(?) he had confused Saturday for his departure flight when it was actually due to leave on Sunday. Someone, not me, remarked that it was an easy mistake to make particularly as he is Dunners son. I though that was a tad unfair but there again I do find it worthy of note that Dunners snr seems to refer to Dunners Jnr as Dunners and Dunners Jnr definitely refers to Dunners Snr as Dunners which I persionally thinks tends to lead to confusion. Interestingly I had to put the two of them in touch with each other at BRN only the other day. Dunners jnr is 25.
How difficult can it be to get your dates right?
On Saturday away at Eastcote only 13 of the squad of 15 attended the pre match meeting as 2 arrived after it had finished.
Dunny immediately and unashamedly blamed his Dad (Little of Little and Large). In fact I was prepared to accept this assertion as a valid excuse not least because I have discovered that Little is a serial fan of Death in Paradise and, thus, one must assume, he is more than a little unstable.
Of more concern was the other offender. Nutty is a member of Her Majesty's forces being a colleague of Godders in the RAF and thus, principally responsible for the defence of the realm. One would hope that he might be quite an organised individual yet he has shown no evidence of being capable of turning up on time nor bringing his match fee. So he represents an even more potentially dangerous proposition being in charge of a jet fighter than does even Hugo in charge of a FI motor car.
Speaking of Hugo he was centrally involved in the Williams FI fiasco this week when , according to the Telegraph, the entire FI team flew to Barcelona for a training programme but apparently forgot to take the car with them. I can't say I'm surprised because he had declared himself n/a last week when, in fact, he was able to play but in the end didn't get a game. See what I mean. You lot think it's a doddle looking after this lot - believe me it's worse than herding cats.
Finally the entire side(except Freddie) completely forgot to pack their shooting boots on Saturday
In fact Pep's pre match briefing was mercifully brief except that he did shoot a barb in my direction for saying that the boys had played rather well the previous week. Sneeringly he suggested that they couldn't have done because we had failed to score. Frankly I thought that was a cheap shot and can only assume that he was anxious about the merciless scalping he had booked later that day at a local Turkish barbers. In fact he was barely recognisable the following day playing in tandem at the back with Boggs jnr for the 1's, the two of them looking together ,for all the world , like extras from the Woodentops. (NB. anyone born post 1960 may not understand that ref - Ed's note).
Regrettably as it turned out the coach's words were all too brief as the 2's floundered against Eastcote it becoming apparent that no one in the side had been told that the game started at the opening whistle and its objective was to score more goals than the opposition. If you ask me that was a fundamental dereliction of duty by the coach as that was clearly his responsibility and there's absolutely nowhere for him to hide.
The boys were on top for most of the match but simply failed to convert territory into goals. Freddie Smith did nail one effort in the second half and, that rare commodity, an Ollie Dunn screamer was "scored" a millisecond after the umpire had signalled a penalty corner (which we contrived to waste). But as Eastcote had scored in the first 5 minutes while our boys were waking up 1-1 it ended and with it, I fear, any realistic chance of a top 3 finish.
I blame the coach..
As I said - it's no fun being a team manager.