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All Of The Stars could not help L4s as Witney took all the points

18 November 2017, 10:00, Banbury Road North (Near)

Ladies' 4s 0 - 5 Witney Ladies 2s

It was a PERFECT start to the weekend. On entering the Oxford Hawks changing room, THE A TEAM were eagerly awaiting a local derby against Witney. We were at home, at the fortress, at the CASTLE ON THE HILL at BRN; we were confident.

In readiness for the match, tracksuits and hoodies were removed and it was time for the new Canterbury SHIRTSLEEVES to be revealed and the match began.

It wasn’t long before the Witney forwards began to assert themselves and within a few minutes, they had taken the lead. THINKING OUT LOUD, communication and marking in defence needed to be improved. Then soon afterwards a second goal was scored. Former Hawks players Kelly Scott and Karen Easterbrook were a combined force to be reckoned with and soon the HANDS OF GOLD on Karen’s stick volleyed a bouncing ball past Evelyn. Witney couldn’t be HAPPIER.

Having used an ERASER to delete the memories of the first half, Evelyn trudged to the other end to see ALL OF THE STARS from the Ladies 4s gathering in the goal. The now-familiar yellow bag of Jelly Babies was distributed, each player hoping that THE [Jelly] MAN would WAKE ME UP and GIVE ME LOVE and send positive vibes and much-needed energy whizzing through her BLOODSTREAM.

Some wise and strong words from Sue Clark also helped. We had to work hard for each other, not think I’M A MESS but YOU NEED ME.

There’s no doubt that the home team were determined that HEARTS DON’T BREAK AROUND HERE and their second half performance was much better. Evelyn decided that this was not the time to SAVE MYSELF but to DIVE for the onslaught of shots at her goal, even risking some SMALL BUMPs as a result.

The final result was 5-0 to Witney, some would say a RUNAWAY victory but WHAT DO I KNOW? We headed off to the LEGO HOUSE for match teas. Georgie Flynn was the ONE to get THE MAN of the match vote. SUPERMARKET FLOWERS for you Georgie!


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