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Chums collect 3 more points in fake news episode.

25 February 2017, 13:30, RAF Halton

Men's 2s 3 - 1 Aylesbury Men's 1s

Last week I received an email from another club in the league enquiring how the dog was. I was happy to report that Murphy the Cocker Spaniel was none the worse for being the target of my wrath after the chums had meekly surrendered 2 points to OMT. He is very quick and elusive. Just as well really - thus a complaint to the RSPCA was , I suspect, narrowly avoided.

However it got me wondering how many people outside the club read the drivel that laughingly passes for a 2nd XI match report on this website - I suspect rather more than I previously imagined. So I've decided to take a leaf out of President Trump's book and I, personally, now treat any published document with the utmost suspicion. Clearly the coiffured leader of the free world is no mug so his opinions need to be viewed with some respect. His perspective seems to be that you rely on the written word at your peril.

The students among you will recognise that there is, of course, a tension here between that assessment and the moral imperative of producing an accurate record of what has transpired on the pitch each Saturday afternoon. This week I am making a particular effort to ensure that my report is factually correct. I do so mindful of the risk that Wycombe are the chums' opponents next Saturday in a contest which may influence the outcome of the League (Wycombe being top and the chums now second). The risk that Wycombe's coach and management team may read the report cannot be discounted and it could well assist their preparation for this Saturday's match but I have concluded - not without some soul searching - that if one is to behave honourably it is a risk I think one is justified in taking. So with that explanation carefully set out here is the report.

On Saturday the chums won 3-1 against Aylesbury. The strategy of playing a 1-8-2 formation took some time to deliver the goods but in the end playing without a padded up keeper proved to be a master stroke. The flat defensive line of 8 dovetailed nicely and ensured the game was goalless until 10 minutes from the final whistle. By then Aylesbury were worn down and 3 penalty corner goals were scored in quick succession by dint of missing out the two castles at the top of the D, returning the ball to the injector and then back to the penalty spot where the moves were converted in some style. Aylesbury scored a consolation goal which was a fair reflection of the match. The chums will undoubtedly deploy the same strategy next week even though the 2's have more than half the side unavailable.

I can't see any need to restrict our reports to "Members only" as some clubs do - I hope you all agree.

 

MoM - Connor Payne

 

DoD - no idea

 

Paddy and Wardy's Wine of the week - Cabalie 2015 - an unbelievably good drop and far superior to anything Wardy has given me - I've no idea why I've given it to the serial chunderer. redolent of rugged hillside vineyards and one to be drunk alone.

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