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Wardy's mantra produces a 10-0 pasting of Chiswick - chums go top

10 December 2016, 13:30, Banbury Road North (Near)

Men's 2s 10 - 0 PHC Chiswick Men's 1s

Those of you who are better read than the average Brookes student will know and understand the claimed effects of reciting the Compassion Buddha mantra. It is said that the benefits are infinite like the limitless sky. One only has to live your life chanting the six syllable mantra "Om mane padme hum" to experience the happiest possible life.

Believers say there is nothing more foolish than not taking advantage of this great opportunity, that, by using this method namely the continuous recitation of the mantra it is easy and straightforward to purify negative karma , collect extensive merit and thus achieve enlightenment .Not only that but all actions done with ego and with the three poisonous minds of anger, attachment and ignorance create negative karma, the cause of suffering. (It's also worth noting that those of the Buddhist persuasion believe that one very powerful negative karma particularly is killing your father or your mother so, being a parent myself, in my view there is a lot of merit in a bit of recitation now and again).

Now I'm all for negativing karma and reducing suffering. If you had stood on the sideline over the last 2 weeks, as I have, watching the chums shambling defensive performance against Newbury and totally hopeless finishing against Oxford you'd understand real suffering. I've also noticed an increase in anger, a surfeit of ego and a distinct absence of enlightenment amongst the chums. Also, very unfairly, I've been castigated by the deluded entrpreneur for a lack of positivity.

On Saturday in the changing room before the game against Chiswick it suddenly all made sense. Our diminutive leader fresh from a tough week of wining and dining - how the hell does he make a living? - has been blathering on about principles all season ."Basics, Patience, Reality, Outcomes" - are you there before me? I suddenly had a sense of a great opportunity - or, if you like, a moment of enlightenment. It had been staring us all in the face for the entire season - the chums have had a mantra all along. We just haven't recited it. So, in a moment of great intensity and emotion, the chums joined hands and in the peace and quiet of the changing room solemnly recited our mantra 10 times over and it was as if all our anger and all our negativity dissipated. I shall long remember Stotty's beatific expression as he set off for the pitch.

On the pitch the 2's were reborn. Chiswick obviously didn't have a mantra because they had a definite absence of enlightenment ( and, I was told, some regulars). The chums were 2-0 at half time which was a poor return for the 2's dominance of the visitors. Hands were joined again in the interval and we did a bit of chanting and the second half produced another 8 goals including 4 in an irresistible 7 minute spell. I still endured a lot of suffering because it tipped it down all afternoon but, as a consequence, of a much improved goal difference the chums went back to the top of a very tight league - and there was an abundance of Basics, Patience, Reality and Outcomes. Take my advice - get yourself a mantra.

And it was so.


MoM - everyone but Stotty was especially good


DoD - no-one 


Paddy and Wardy's Wine of the Week - Chemins de Casel - Pinot Noir - 2015 - well rounded wine with vibrant ripe cherry notes supported by touches of spice, silky tannins and a long fruit led finish - a nice drop!!

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