Skipper Spittles left on a high last week with a well fought win over Maidenhead Magicians as the 6th XI got their first 3 points of the season. The team is led to believe that the Skipper is Oxfordshire’s very own Gordon Ramsay and he has been parachuted into Hotel Bab in the exotic city of Marrakesh to put this 5 star hotel back on its feet again. A cursory glance of the ever reliable Trip Advisor page proves interesting reading….The last 4 reviews range from ‘Disgusting’ and ‘Disgusting….with Rat problem’ to ‘The best little gem in Marrakech’ and ‘A hidden gem!’ Somethings obviously not right here and so Spittles armed with his trusty hockey stick has been dispatched to sort out the infestation of vermin that is obviously plaguing some but not all the hotel. The UB40 song, ‘There’s a Rat in my kitchen what am I going to do…..I’m going to fix that Rat that’s what I’m going to do!’, was no doubt ringing in his ears as he made his way to Marrakesh.
So the 6th XI gathered on Saturday morning, Skipper-less and in fact goal keeper-less until our ‘utility’ player Charles Darby arrived having dusted off his keepers kit on the promise of its one and only outing this season. We did the usual pleasantries and worked this team really has some unique qualities. One of the stranger facts is that we possess Hawks most flexible athlete (our very own Kick Boxing Supremo Nico Stott who can flick a well-aimed kick to anyone’s head in the blink of an eye) and Hawks most inflexible athlete (our very own Mark ‘Shambles’ Shirley who last touched his toes, or even observed them, probably in about 1985)…more documentary evidence of this next week.
The first half went pretty well. Wycombe pressed hard and threatened the Hawks D with good passing and running but Hawks came off at half time 2-0 up. The first goal, a deft deflection by Eliott following a neat passing move from Cairns from the right across the 25m line to Wells jnr who drove the ball hard into the D for Elliott to finish. The second goal a well struck short corner hit by Shambles using those toned core muscles to power the ball low and left of the keeper.
But it was at half time the ‘Rat’ started to nibble into the psyche of the 6th XI. I have never cared for UB40 and in fact their most famous song ‘Red, Red wine’ is surely one of the horrors of the 1980. However, there is something strangely prophetic about the lyrics in the ‘Rat in the kitchen’ song. Skipper might have got rid of his rat but it mysteriously arrived in the 2nd half of the 6th XI game.
The 2nd verse of the ‘Rat in the kitchen’ sort of reflects the outcome of the 2nd half…..
‘When you open your mouth you don't talk, you shout
And you give every body the blame
But when they catch you up they will shut you up
And you got no one to blame’
Spooky hey! So Wycombe came back with 2 quick and well worked goals. Hawks weren’t quite shouting at each other but we were all to blame for taking our eye off the ball. The last 20 minutes of the game were pretty frenetic and the last play of the game nearly resulted in a Hawks goal but cruelly just passed wide of the post.
Man of the Match was Charles Darby who made many impressive saves.
We retired to the bar, which I would like to point out now has no vermin problem at all, and presented MOM award to the oppo skipper, Simon
Next week more reports on Skippers exploits in Marrakesh and hopefully the 6th XI can sort out their own pest control to get back on track