The day started well, Torbs was refused entry to the changing rooms and immediately became grumpy, Hawks were informed that BA will be supplying both Umpires for the game, Big Dog had purchased Under 10’s shin guards, we had two players on debut, Chris Lim and Robbie Scragg and two elderly statesman in Paul Scragg and Andy Summser playing for the 3’s for the first time this season.
Banana skins at the ready for what was always going to be a battle with the odds and the Umpires stacked against us.
A rallying call from Big Dog to Takeaway the ball for as long as we could was answered and the hastily arranged 3rd XI played some of their best Hockey of the season despite everything that was thrown at them, sticks, insults (more of that later!!) bizarre decisions, and tantrums BA still could not influence the game. Bas hit the buffet cart first with a well positioned short corner before young Robbie Scragg ended a move to make it two nil. BA then applied some pressure with a little help! but at the back Pablo and Torbjorn the Defender (In Cinemas from April) stood firm with Ben Reeves making it an impenetrable defensive line.
Hawks went 3-0 up then Neil Gallagher appeared from behind the goal and whilst leaning on the post scored from 150 microns out. The call at half time was to not allow BA to score at the start of the second half, we did this and more with MOM Bas ‘too nice’ Marshall who slotted home to make it 4-0.
BA then got one back from a short corners before Big Dog lumbered forward and collected a pass from Tyler ‘WHAT, I didn’t say anything’ Simpson to make it 5-1. It was at this point that the ‘banter’ moved to another level with the BA number 5 who had been giving some weight loss advice to Big Dog, who being the shrinking violet that he is took it all in good spirit, despite calls of ‘what's the score’ ‘ we won the league 5 weeks ago’ ‘ I might be fat but I have just scored and I am a keeper’ were all answered with another cruel fat reference, was it to be another night of Big Dog crying himself to sleep……………… no, the response was cutting. ‘The reason I am so fat is that every time I **** you mum she gives me a Poppadum’ , followed by ‘come on lads, it will be teatime soon’ and finally ‘Any chance I could book a table for 2, just for me’ The Number 5 responded by hitting Torjorn on the back with his stick!.
Tyler ‘WHAT, I didn’t do anything’ was the winner of the Men's Health award 2 Greens and a Yellow as part of this 5 a day and he still had time to finish BA off to make it 6.
Many thanks to Andy Summser who played really well and said afterwards it was just nice to win a game of Hockey, also Paul Scragg who did a great job, Robbie learnt a few new words, Chris Lim who held the midfield together and Bens Mum offering advice from the side of the pitch.
But most of all a great team effort by all, a true measure of how far this team have come that the title is simply not enough, one more game to be undefeated all season. South Bucks look out, Hawks are on a roll, filled with lots of butter, cheese, ham and salad cream, 2 packets of crisps and a litre of fat Coke!!!